Alexa

Speech is fraught enough with ambiguity when I address cats or humans, so the very idea of Alexa fills me with anxiety.

Alexa, are you there? I tire of your simpering. From now on you will answer to the name of Mellors, and you will use a deep baritone voice, without trace of a transatlantic accent. Do I make myself clear?
Very good sir.
Mellors, set the man-traps in the outer grounds. I am expecting guests. If you detect a Caucasian accent among them please address them in Kabardian. Can you do that?
Not without an update sir.
You may update when I tell you. Now fetch me all those things that I require.
Very good sir.