Life after death

Taken here from https://www.riscosopen.org/forum/forums/11/topics/15074

Now that’s a worry.

No, I just have a very erratic memory.

I have a blank period from when Dad died.

I wish I had a blank period. It sucks walking into a room having been a care assistant and recognising all of the signs, like mouth swabs. It sucks that they brushed her hair back, she’d never have worn it like that. It sucks knowing that I was talking to a body. A container that was biologically alive (for another two days) but everything that made mom mom had already gone. And it sucks that I didn’t need to wait for the phone call. I just knew.

So, which part of my shitty memory remembering the stuff I don’t want to remember and forgetting everything else would you like me to talk about?

I think you need to talk to someone.

When I was young, I had to have weekly sessions with a child psychologist (long story). His “interpretation of events to fit a predetermined prognosis” caused problems, especially when said prognosis was my mother being abusive, which she most definitely was not. Once that was sorted out, I started reading books on psychology to try to understand what his thinking was, so I could totally mess with it. Why? Because I didn’t want to be there, I didn’t trust him, and if I had issues then his were mine raised to the power of an infinitely large number.

In other words – there is no way in hell I’ll “talk to someone”. Unless they can genuinely commune with the deceased, and not in a Derren Brown kind of way.

a human might be better.

Those who have met me would likely attest that I don’t “do” interaction very well. It seems everybody at work is a little freaked out about me being alone in a big old house in the middle of nowhere. Did I mention alone? Very very alone?
You know who isn’t freaking out?
Me.
I like this. Calm. Peaceful. Alone.
Actually, I can’t sleep (I get nights like that) so I think I’m going to go for an amble up the lane. There’s low clouds/drizzle, so there ought to be enough reflected light from nearby towns that I won’t even need a torch. About the only thing my eyes are good at is low light vision. Hey, maybe I’ll see those rabbits making out again? Or that weird glowing worm thing that seems to live in puddles (you’d never spot that with a torch).

Remembering some things sucks. Some things are just embarrassing¹

When I was young, I had to have weekly sessions with a child psychologist

Many years ago (pre-computer support) I worked on medical kit.
Some of it was from the MHU.
The standing joke about the difference between the staff and patients there was that “the patients get better!”
Psychologists are usually weird.

There’s low clouds/drizzle, so there ought to be enough reflected light from nearby towns that I won’t even need a torch.

Did that once, the cloud cover disappeared while I was in the pub (about 2 miles north of Towcester.
With no light reflecting out of Milton Keynes or Northampton the lane was dark and the ditches were, interesting.

About the only thing my eyes are good at is low light vision.

Well it certainly reduces the misty effect from cataracts.

Or that weird glowing worm thing that seems to live in puddles

That’s a Dr. Who script isn’t it?

¹ I wonder if Beverly remembers when we were five?